Midlife Crisis Mule
For the most part, I’ve led a fairly stereotypical hunter/jumper/equitation riding career. It started with mutt-type school horses (aside from one super special Morgan), Thoroughbreds, then warmbloods, I’ve never really ridden any horses with truly exotic breeding (although I did ride a dressage Shire once!). Chestnuts, bays, grays, the occasional paint or liver chestnut, but nothing that would have people talking in hushed tones.
Maybe I’m having some sort of early midlife crisis, but I have this overpowering urge to buy something totally out of left field. Something that will have my trainer shaking her head and saying “what have you brought into my barn?”
Maybe it will be something spotted. There’s a new sales barn in Ocala that specializes in spotted horses for the hunter/jumper/equitation rings. I can’t stop oogling the various leopard appys on their page as I’ve always had a thing for spots.
When I was a child, I remember a judge telling me I rode very well but wouldn’t be pinned because I was riding an appy. I’m sure that judge is rolling over in his grave because now appys are winning at the biggest shows in the country. Take that, tradition miser.
Or maybe it will be a Fjord. I’ve followed more Fjord Instagram accounts than I care to admit over the last six months (Twenty. I followed 20 accounts). While I thought that maybe these little chunks were only suited for dressage, it seems that some of them certainly have the skills to do some low-level jumping. I wonder if that mane would be hard to grab onto, should I find the sickeningly long spot and need to grab it.
And then there’s mules. This would truly test the limits of my trainer’s love. The big ears, the hardworking disposition… and you can get them with or without spots. Sure, I might not be able to compete many places (turns out mules aren’t allowed at many regular horse shows) but I would certainly turn heads anywhere I could go. Heck, maybe I could even be an agent of change and make “hunter mules” a thing.
Any fake tail makers want to sponsor me before I become famous?
Twenty years ago I would never have dreamed of wanting anything other than a bay or a chestnut. Blending in was important then, but oh how the times have changed. Standing out, wearing what you want and riding what you love has become totally okay. Those who embrace the unconventional are no longer the new Bohemians. We’re just the Kims on a Cheval Canadien or Sallys on a Knabstrupper or Beckys on a mule. Listen and look for us at an in-gate near you.