Work/Life/Horse Balance: The Struggle Is Real

It was about a year into owning and training my big, green off-track Thoroughbred gelding that it dawned on me.

This horse could be pretty special.

I’d casually listed him for sale int the past, and bought him with the intention of re-selling him eventually. But through all the ups and downs that come with riding and training a young, green horse, my bond with the big guy – and the athletic partner he was becoming – began to evolve.

Suddenly, I was envisioning a different future for him, and for me. He was officially coming off the market.

I sat down with my husband to talk about it. We’d just gotten married and bought our first house. I was busy with my career, too. So squeezing in riding time was always a struggle.

I told him I wanted to horse show, and to horse show for real. I explained that I wanted to see just how far I could go with this talented horse. The best time was now, before we had any children and while our other expenses were mostly manageable. But if I were to do this, I was going to take the commitment seriously.

Luckily, my husband was super supportive.

Now that I got the buy in I needed, it felt like the clock was ticking.

I put a lot of pressure on myself to reach the goals I have in mind with horses. Nothing beats the satisfaction of reaching those goals, after logging all the hours and hard work. But I’m also just an amateur rider in my 30s – I have a lot of life to manage that has nothing to do with horses.

I knew I couldn’t realistically count on having years and years in my 30s to dedicate to horse showing. This was a fixed timeline. I had the funds (sorta) and the time (maybe) to horse show now. And that’s if ~knock on wood~ **praise baby Jesus** the horse stayed sound, we didn’t lose our jobs, we could stay in our town, and 434353447456 other reasons that could at any point in time, derail these silly plans I had just made.

Fast forward a year later, and there were definitely disappointments. I missed shows because of lameness, or because I couldn’t afford it, or because I was a bridesmaid in too many frickin’ friends weddings in one year. Despite my intense commitment, there are just some days where work is rough and I am too tired to drag myself to the barn. Other times I have to relent, and actually spend my weekend doing something my husband wants to do.

Every time these things happen, I feel guilty. But then I take a deep breath and remind myself I’m just an amateur. Horses are my passion. Riding and caring for my horse makes me happy. But real life will always get in the way – some way, some how – and I still just try to enjoy the journey. Even with the speed bumps.