What I Wish I Knew Then: Words That Stick
By Rebecca Barber
Rebecca is an active event rider and USDF Bronze Medalist from Charlottesville, Virginia. She enjoys working with young horses, teaching, running, and doing marketing/PR work for non-profit organizations.
As riders we have all experienced “ah ha” moments when the answers to long-standing questions finally become clear. In many cases these flashes of clarity are often related to a simple concept that we have been struggling to understand. While the “answer” may be simple, often a considerable amount of time may pass before someone articulates the answer in a way that we can truly grasp. But when that finally happens, it sticks!
I experienced one of these moments lately. I had a disappointing and early end to the weekend when I decided to withdraw my horse before show jumping. I am an extremely goal-oriented person and in the past I have let similar situations really upset me.
As I was discussing my situation with Buck Davidson, he said something that will stick with me forever. Buck simply stated: “Any day that we get to work with these amazing animals is a good day. Watch CNN for even five minutes and you will see hundreds of people who would love to be in your shoes right now. Tomorrow is another day.”
Buck’s sentiment, while obvious, is true. We are incredibly lucky to be able to do what we do and to enjoy these magnificent creatures. While this sentiment has probably been shared with me on numerous occasions, something about the way Buck worded it put things into perspective for me. And now, when I am having a frustrating day or I am dealing with a setback, I remind myself of this conversation. I have benefited greatly from this new mindset.
While speaking with Kate Severson, she mentioned a similar moment that will stick with her for the rest of her life. When Kate was younger, she had a clinician tell her: “Work hard, build on the good things in every ride and don’t let your mistakes get you down. The only time you fail is when you stop trying!” Even though the conversation occurred years ago, she still remembers those words and strives to live by that quote.
Sometimes these conversations not only remind us of important riding concepts, such as keeping our heels down, but they also serve as a catalyst to remind us of all of the lessons taught to us by a particular mentor. Kate Kosnoff, founder of Riders for Wellbeing and a rider who has found much success in the USHJA National Derbies, fondly remembers her former trainer, Pam Graham, who passed away a few years ago. Pam used to tell Kate: “Sit up. You’re not a good enough rider to slouch.”
Kate reminisced that this memory will always make her giggle and reminds her to sit up straight. “She’s been gone for two years but I still hear her scolding me in my head!”
After all these years of riding and being involved in our sport, I still find it amazing how the smallest things can make the biggest difference. Whether discussing a riding concept or a life lesson, always pay careful attention. You never know when someone will say something that will alter the way you think, forever.