The Making Of A Stage Mom
By Cathy Sobke
I suspect the “stage moms” made popular by those reality TV shows which aired about 10 years ago (the most renowned, Mama June and her progeny Hunny Boo-Boo) probably did not wake up one day and just start full glitter crazy. I would expect a progression to stage mom to be more of a slow burn. You wake up one day and you think, well little Suzy’s classmate just entered her first pageant, so I guess we are the age where we can start entering Suzy too! From there, it progresses until a full blown glitter grenade detonates all over your mini van one Saturday morning.
These thoughts were itching my brain when I gifted my son riding lessons for his fourth birthday. Not a pony, but just a few lessons so he could get an idea of how to sit in the saddle and not fear these rather large and intimidating animals. One of the interesting parts of raising kids is you see how they develop like you. Will they have your sense of humor? Your persistence? Your intelligence?
I always found it curious that professional equestrians express a desire for their children to not follow in their footsteps. Similar to actors, they want something far different for their kids. But I often wondered why that is? Riding is such a wonderful activity and they do it for their own living, why would they not want that for their kids? The short answer, I think, is that it is a hard living and getting ahead in the sport looks much different than when they were starting. It is a very physically demanding career and to compete at the top levels requires a lifestyle of travel and 24/7/365 work schedule that is difficult to maintain for the span of an entire career.
But that is not me. I am not pushing him into riding lessons, right? I took him to the barn where my horse is boarded and I pointed out the pony to him, asking if he wanted to ride her and he said “yes.” Did I coerce his enthusiasm by dangling a rotund pony in front of him? Maybe, but it is not my fault that ponies are so cute!
Do I want him to achieve some riding goals that I can no longer attain as some form of vicarious victory? No. I want him to learn how to ride because it is an amazing sport, for which you, dear reader, need no elaboration. What I do not want for him is that first experience that so many non-equestrians describe. You know, the one that starts, “Oh, you ride? I tried that once at a relative’s house/ on vacation/ etc and they pulled this horse out of a field and it took off/ bucked/ ran me into a tree/ etc. and after that, I never went riding again.” Which is a shame, because they are basically saying they were a kid who tried something that was supposed to be fun, got scared and never tried it again. Well not my kid! I want him to have just enough experience in the saddle that he feels confident and it is still fun.
So how do I know when I am going beyond encouraging my child’s interests and entering into “stage mom” territory? I think the key is listening to my child. If I were looking at the prize list for the next schooling show to see if my jumper division would align with the lead line classes, that would probably be entering into dangerous ground. Would he look absolutely adorable astride a fat pony in a little tie and jacket? O.M.G. yes! What does he want? So far, he has said he wants to ride again but that he wants to “go fast.” (His favorite movie is Cars. His favorite animal is a cheetah. He describes running as going “Sonic fast.” Notice a theme?) So, I think if we can just get Tootsie to trot in this week’s lesson, mission accomplished with no need to fear of an impending glitter explosion.