Should You Put Your Horse In Your Online Dating Profile?
I recently got out of a long-term relationship and I’ve started to dip my toe back in the dating pool. My mom likes to say, “Go do things you love and you’ll meet someone that shares your passions,” but I’ve yet to meet an eligible bachelor at the barn or the Pilates studio, so I’ve downloaded the apps. Turns out, all the recent photos of me are either with my ex, or with my horse. But here is the big question – do I show my horse girl energy up front, or is that something better left for a few dates in after I’ve dazzled with my personality?
We all know the stigma against horse girls. We are crazy, we smell like a barn, and, as my ex would gladly point out, we will usually (always) put the horse first. But, here’s the thing – horses are a huge part of my life and they’re also a massive time and money commitment. This upset my ex, but he accepted it. He would begrudgingly agree to come to horse shows with me even though he was grumpy about it the entire time. He reluctantly set a backup alarm for me at 4 a.m. and would sit in the car eating snacks while I braided and packed in the wee hours of
the morning. But he showed up. He even bought me a saddle pad and matching bonnet for Christmas. It wasn’t perfect, but it was nice.
If I could wave a magic wand, I’d love to find a partner that supported my passion and not only agreed to join me at a few shows every year, but did so in good spirits. What’s better than a day in the sun (or pouring rain), hanging out with nice people, pretty horses and your girl? I know this is actually a big ask, but I’m hopeful. There are women at my barn whose significant others not only show up with them for hauling out, but will drive the rig. There are also women whose husbands have never set foot in the barn, and they like it that way. I know at least two people
who secretly bought a second horse that their significant other doesn’t even know about.
Before meeting my last boyfriend, I had a picture of a horse on my online dating profile with mixed results. When I first matched with a polo player, I was beyond excited to bond over our mutual love of horses. Turns out, there are some polo players that don’t actually like horses, AND he admitted that he swiped right on me because he was hoping I’d be a sugar mama. Sir, the only sugar I am providing is to my 4-legged toddler of an equine, and we are almost fresh out of cubes.
I then somehow managed to wrangle a date with a grand prix show jumper. To the surprise of no one, that lasted for two dates. Track record for horse boys: 0/2. And accountants? Forget it! When I met my ex, I was leasing a horse at an event barn. Life was easier then, when I didn’t have the stress of owning my own trailer or having to make care and wellness decisions for a living creature. Once I had a horse of my own, life got progressively more consumed with all things equine. He didn’t realize what he’d gotten himself into, and I felt lucky that he stuck by me and humored my seemingly endless vents about barn drama. Things didn’t work out for
other reasons, but now I’m back to square one and wondering: do I hide my crazy, or lead with it and hope to find someone who embraces this wild lifestyle and all that comes with it?
After all, I’m just a Beth, looking for her Rip. Or something like that.