My Non-Horsey Friends Don’t Really Understand What I Do
When your 9-5 job consists of feeding, riding, and caring for 1,200 pound animals, you tend to forget that this lifestyle isn’t considered “normal” to everyone. I’m convinced that most of my non-horse friends and even some of my family members think I just play with and ride horses all day, every day. That’s fine that they might think that, because truthfully what I do is pretty unique and hard to explain to the average person.
I started noticing at a fairly young age that most of my friends outside of the barn didn’t really understand the “horse thing.” I think some of them were certain that the horse did all of the work (cue eye roll here). Fast forward to high school and college, where I would often have to miss out on parties or trips because I had to work at the barn, had a horse show with my Intercollegiate Dressage team, or had to save money because I knew that the farrier was coming that week. I could sense that some of my friends, although they were respectful about it, didn’t understand that I couldn’t just get up and go as they might be able to.
My favorite question I’ve received from non-horse friends has to be, “Why do you have to go and feed the horses? Can’t someone else do it?” While I totally understand this is a valid question to some, it can be quite frustrating to have to explain the responsibility and commitment of having horses to someone that simply just does not understand and hasn’t lived the lifestyle. I believe as horse people, the passion we have for these animals and the sport is so complex and almost impossible to explain to a non-equestrian. I have met some of my best friends through horses and riding; the mutual understanding of the commitment and love for this sport is automatically understood in these relationships.
You can’t go to dinner with me Friday night because your horse pulled a shoe and the farrier is coming? That’s totally fine, I understand. You aren’t able to go on a vacation with me because you simply can’t afford it due to owning horses? Again, I totally get that. It can be really hard to explain these reasons to someone who hasn’t experienced it for themselves.
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love and appreciate my non-horsey friends so much.
Most of them have been extremely supportive in what I do, and some have even come to the barn with me or frequently ask how my riding and work life is going. I actually think it’s imperative to have friends that aren’t involved in horses, because sometimes they can be a breath of fresh air (and also can’t criticize your riding at all because they have no idea what is even happening.) Having a healthy balance between non-horse and horse friends has been great and I am very fortunate to have both in my life
If you find yourself getting frustrated with non-horse friends or people in general, gracefully take a step back and remember what we do is pretty unique and not everyone is going to understand it. And that’s completely fine.