Horse Relationship Status: It’s Complicated
It’s a label slapped on relationships, situations, and experiences. ‘It’s complicated’. We get comfortable labeling things as ‘complicated’, especially if we’re not interested in dissecting them, working the puzzles out, or putting together a plan of attack to rectify a situation. It’s easy to write a complicated situation off, like a bad date or a fling with a guy you really wish you hadn’t had.
But should you?
Complicated, in terms of horses, isn’t much different than a relationship labeled ‘complicated’ on Facebook. But it is intimidating and frustrating.
The complicated horse is often misunderstood. With this label, horses who aren’t trying to be difficult come off as complex, advanced, and not user-friendly. They’re easier to write off and walk away from to save yourself disappointment of failure, retrying, and the time spent trying to understand where the horse is coming from.
I’ve had complicated horses who ask questions I am not prepared to answer. I have found myself charged with riding horses I don’t understand and find difficult. I can’t quite connect with mares because I find them complicated and regard them as difficult – like women. But then again, women really aren’t that complicated and neither are mares. What we learn from a complicated horse better prepares us to get on the back of any horse thereafter.
There’s a lovely story about the time a man spent with Happiness. She was flowery, light, and bright. She had many nice things to say. However, when the man walked alongside Melancholy, he learned. Getting on a made horse who is more than happy to perform every movement you ask for, respond to any aid you use, and generally trot along like a good citizen is wonderful. You enjoy your ride, and you have time to feel pleasant and appreciate the nice afternoon.
On a complicated horse, you might feel lucky to survive the ride. You might feel heavy with frustration afterwards, and you might even feel discouraged. But oh, how you learn! Complicated horses are the best teachers. They force us to dig a little deeper, ride a little better, and become more patient than we thought possible.
A complicated horse helps prepare you for the future, giving you the tools you’ll need later on down the road.
A little bit of understanding goes a long way. Complicated doesn’t mean difficult unless you don’t try to understand where the horse is coming from. Work to understand your horse, or a horse you’re riding. Fill your tool bag with exercises, movements, and methods that help you dissect your ‘complicated’ horse, until their quirks become second nature.
You’ll be amazed with what they can teach you.