Equestrian Dating: It’s Not You, I Would Just Rather Be at the Barn
Dating an equestrian is not for the faint of heart. Yes, we are fabulous, independent women who don’t need no man…unless it’s a handsome bay gelding with a lot of chrome.
Dating a rider can be difficult, especially for a significant other that isn’t into riding. While having the “I ride horses” conversation can be difficult, it’s only the first of many hurdles you’ll encounter during your dating experiences.
Let’s be brutally honest here. When we say we’re on our way back from the barn, we haven’t even put our horse away yet. The barn is this magical place where time stops and next thing you know one hour has turned into four. After all, being with our horses is our happy place. Why return to reality when you can spend hours with your furry and human best friends? I personally don’t know why I ever return home other than it’s where my fridge is. I digress, let’s get back to the boy talk.
So you’re seeing a crush or a boyfriend or girlfriend on a regular basis. Chances are good that you’ll enter into a situation where you must choose between time at the barn or time with your significant other. If you’re anything like me, the solution to this problem is a no-brainer: more barn time. Thus, we enter into the next problematic area of dating a muggle: explaining to them why you would rather go to the barn than spend time with them.
If you’re lucky, they’ll be very understanding and this will not be a problem. After all, people get busy, life happens, and if they’re kind-hearted, they’ll support you spending your time doing something you’re so passionate about. If you’re unlucky, you’ll receive a melancholy whine about how they wanted to spend time with you and how selfish you’re being.
Personally, as soon as I hear a whine or complaint about how much time I spend with my horses, the red flags start popping up and I know that this relationship isn’t going to last much longer in my life. The barn is the time where I can relax, find my zen, and have a lot of fun. If someone isn’t able to accept how much time the barn takes out of each day, it’s safe to say that the relationship won’t last. A decision between time with my horses or anyone else isn’t much of a decision.
While going to the barn is no excuse to heartlessly blow someone off, it’s important that your muggle boyfriend or girlfriend understand that things happen, that the barn is important, and also that sometimes, time with your horses will take priority over time with them. One hour may turn into a few and “on my way home” usually means a half hour, minimum. While they may learn this over time, sometimes it’s nice to throw them a bone and tell them that you’ll be running on “equestrian time” rather than muggle time.