An Open Letter to Buck Brannaman

Dear Buck,

I was eight years old and a brand new rider when I first heard the term “horse whisperer.” My simple and youthfully ignorant brain believed horsemanship was something anyone could do; that if you were sweet and quiet enough in how you said the words you whispered into your horse’s ear, he’d magically be able to understand your language and do whatever meaningless task you were asking him to do. Like asking my first pony to pick up his foot a little longer so my tiny, weak hands could finish cleaning out around his frog or for him to not lift his nose into the air so quickly after I took of his halter to bridle him because I couldn’t reach his head when it was at that level. I didn’t realize that actual whispering  of “pleases,” “thank yous,” and “good boys” into horses’ ears made no change on their behavior or how they saw me.

I never got mad when horses didn’t do what I had asked in those whispers, I was just ecstatic when I had asked for something that they were just going to do anyway because it seemed like they’d heard me. I told these stories to the other girls taking lessons, and I was nicknamed “the horse whisperer.” Although, looking back they were probably being factious, I was honored to have been compared the horseman Robert Redford portrayed in the movie and I told my mom. She probably knew their nickname was not created in kindness, so she told me about “the real horse trainer” Robert Redford’s character was based on and bought me a copy of your documentary. The rest is history. I devoured all your books, studied your clinic DVDs, and bought my first rope halter. The most exciting part of it all was learning that even though I was doing that whispering thing completely wrong, there was still so much magic in the way an understood and respected horse danced with his human, both on the ground and under saddle. 

When I had first seen Robert Redford as this amazingly patient and gentle horseman, I didn’t think it was really possible. I wanted to believe, but like you, I had seen my fair share of abuse and unkindness. As a kid, I related to the troubled horses who jumped when people shouted in their direction and jerked away from a raised hand. It wasn’t until I started studying horsemanship through your teachings that I learned respect and fear are not the same thing and I wanted more than anything to meet you in person, to ask you questions, and hear your stories, so I too could help horses with their “people problems.” Thanks to my wonderful mother, almost two decades later in September 2023, I finally got my chance. One of the first things you said during the groundwork fundamentals section was “everyone’s kind of family here” and over those three days I realized just how true that was. 

I brought Q, a little dun Quarter Horse that originally belonged to my intercollegiate equestrian coach. I had started him under saddle my senior year (under the guidance of said amazing coach) and I loved him so much that I bought him a few months after my graduation. We’d been together five years before we came to your clinic, but he wasn’t as sharp or as finished as most horses are by his age.

Because of my battle with Multiple Sclerosis, he was often pushed to the back burner as my ability to ride, balance, and even walk and talk correctly was (and still is) something I never quite knew I was going to be able to do when I woke up in the morning. I was a little scared and worried I would be embarrassed by this delay in his training, but every partnership at that clinic was at a different level and no one judged me, some people had horses they’d had for many years, some horses just 30 days under saddle. What mattered was that we horseman knew how horses communicate with each other so we could explain the steps to our horses in a way they could understand, so that one day (whether the very next day or months from then) we could lead them in a beautiful dance.

I have done many clinics with big names in the equine industry, but there was something different about yours. It wasn’t just a clinic to learn how to fix something or learn something new, it was more of a conversation you’d have over a dinner table with wisdom and life lessons in every answered question. The space was a safe place for both my horse and I to grow our connection with each other, and despite there being over a dozen people in the arena with their horses and even more people auditing, the atmosphere was quiet and peaceful in a way that is difficult to put into words. Q was locked onto me in the groundwork like never before and under saddle I was able to get out of his way long enough for him to show me just how much he didn’t need me at all, which was such an incredible feeling.

I could go on and on with quotes that will be stuck in my head for the rest of my life, but you know your own words and I just want to publicly thank you for showing me how to take my wrongs and make them right. You pointed out things I was doing both in the saddle and when on the ground that were confusing (and probably quite annoying) for Q, some things I didn’t even realize I was doing, and other things that I didn’t realize could be better. I won’t lie to you, some of those things made me disappointed in myself as a horseman and a rider, but I was so grateful to have them brought to my attention in such a constructive way and to have been given so many tools to communicate better with Q (and all horses).

I don’t know if you remember, because I know you meet a lot of people all around the globe, but at the end of the clinic I opened up to you about my struggles with my body and confidence riding with MS and after my paralysis that left me in the hospital for months. You listened and were so kind to me. You told me that Q was a very gentle horse, he could get handy with all the tools we learned, and that I could ride. I tried my best to smile through my tears when you said this, because not only was it something I desperately needed reassurance on, it was something that shook me down to the little girl who’d admired your horsemanship since childhood. I realize looking back now just how much your horsemanship really was humanship too. The same patience, kindness and respect shown to horses was shown to me. You gave me what you described and helped me establish for Q: a place to know peace always and be confident with me, a place to rest and be confident in the environment, and a place to always have a choice and have confidence in himself. 

Thank you for fixing Q’s “people problem” and thank you for providing me with the experience of a lifetime learning how I can be the best horseman and human I can be.

Yours truly,

The girl who thought you really whispered, the adult who learned the difference