AMA: How Do I Get My Family To Like My Horses?
I want to share my passion of horses with my family more. They are not necessarily “horse people” or are interested in the sport. How do I make the barn time fun for my kids? And maybe even my husband?
“People who develop an emotional connection with the horses are more likely to enjoy being around them. That connection is easier when horses help people feel safe, so the gentler your horses’ ground manners are, the more options you have. If in doubt about safety, keep horses behind a barrier such as a fence or stall door.
Children might be anxious around even well-behaved horses, but some activities involving care encourage children to take pride in contributing to the horses’ care and happiness while staying at a distance where they feel safe.
Children can learn to measure and mix feed, then slide a dish under a door or stall guard. For horses with good food manners, a child can take the food into the stall accompanied by an adult for security as needed. Toddlers like holding up bouquets of hay that horses can reach over stall doors without getting big mouths too close to little fingers. If your horses take applesauce in wormer tubes, kids can be the heroes who serve it.
Young children often like ‘grownup’ chores. When little ones clean stalls (with a small basket pitchfork), many flying manure muffins miss the wheelbarrow. Cleaning a water tank includes playing in the mud puddle next to it. Weighing hay or putting new bedding in a stall can be messy fun. I work along with them until they want to do the job themselves, and I never critique. I just point out how much the horses appreciate the fresh water, clean bedding, etc. By the time a child does the job neatly, she’s probably ready for a new challenge.
Children can groom if horses have gentle manners and enjoy touching. The goal is a positive experience for horse and child, not a clean horse. A young child might be satisfied with a couple brush strokes. Older children can brush tails, braid manes, or give a horse a full ‘spa day’ starting with bath and finishing with sparkle hoof polish. A relaxed horse tells a child her attention is appreciated. If you help kids find itchy spots to scratch, horses’ lip action shows their appreciation clearly!
Kids can ‘help’ you lead a horse by walking on your left side holding the tail end of the lead. Later, you can swap places, accompanying the child and horse as needed. Children take pride in skills like picking hooves, or putting on halters and fly masks.
Reading can be more fun if a horse is listening. It’s also a way a child can soothe an anxious horse, keep a lonely one company, or make a friend.
Kids are more likely to enjoy activities with horses they see as friends. There are simple tricks such as bowing or picking up a feed dish. My grandchildren enjoyed Horse Agility. Leading horses through obstacle courses allows children to become safely independent much more quickly than riding does.
My husband first got engaged with horses when he was enlisted to provide TLC for a grieving horse. Spending time with the horses is now part of his evening routine.
Without pressure to ride, people are free to find their own ways of relating to horses. Horses in turn often develop special connections with people who visit them without a ‘work’ agenda.”
– Lynn Acton
Lynn Acton has a diverse equestrian and academic background that helps her understand horses, relationships, and leadership from an interdisciplinary point of view. Her degrees in sociology and systems science have contributed to her understanding of research studies, the social dynamics of horses, their interactions with people, and how the interconnected parts of complex social systems fit together. After spending time working on a Thoroughbred breeding farm and later retraining off-track Thoroughbreds, Acton became certified by the Certified Horsemanship Association (CHA) to teach both English and Western riding and started a therapeutic riding program for at-risk youth. She currently competes in Horse Agility and Equagility (ridden agility).Find Lynn’s book, “What Horses Really Want,” here.
AMA:
Got a question for us? Send it over and we’ll find the answer: [email protected]