To My Heart Horse: Thank You For Getting Me Through This

It was a steamy weekend in June and I found myself loading up the trailer to go to a horse show.

Generally speaking, this isn’t an unusual occurrence in my horse-filled life. But in June 2020, we were three months into a global pandemic, and horse shows were just starting to resume again in Florida – despite warnings from public health officials, rising caseloads, and the unraveling politics of it all.

The rated dressage series put in strict procedures in order to host the event, and I was honestly thankful for the distraction. In my day job, I was consumed by the pandemic – the constant headlines lead to a lot of late nights while I adjusted to this new “work-from-home” environment. At least at the horse show, we were masked. We were outside. And I was with my horse, my saving grace among all the uncertainty and chaos.

I remember posting a photo of my horse and I with our ribbons from the show on Facebook. A friend of mine I know professionally – not someone horsey – commented and said: “Congratulations! Your horse will get you through this.”

For months, that line stuck with me. “Your horse will get you through this.” At the time, I appreciated the kindness of the comment. But as the weeks went by and the pandemic only got worse, the weight of that sentiment began to really resonate.

My horse got me through the worst of 2020, hands down. I watched as so many people I knew personally struggled in various ways – financially, with their health, their mental health, you name it. My own family wasn’t unscathed. Not to mention the endless news cycle of perpetually more bad news made it hard to feel like any of us could ever catch a break. It was emotionally stifling and overwhelming.

Through it all, I was and still am so grateful to have my horse. I realize how lucky I am to have one at all, and to have not lost access to the barn during the worst parts of the last year, like so many others did during lockdown periods.

There were weeks where I felt so lost and alone, numb to the daily responsibilities that piled up. But the daily afternoon trip to the farm washed all of those fears and anxiety away, at least for a couple of hours.

There’s something about just being around a horse – any horse – that just soothes the soul. If you’re a horse person, you know the feeling. You don’t need to be someone who owns one or competes regularly to feel and appreciate the sense of calm they so generously provide. This bizarre year only made me appreciate that more, and helped strengthen the bond I have with my horse.

My gelding was the quiet, stoic presence I needed on tough days, and the distraction I craved on others. Every day, my heart skipped a beat when I first laid eyes on him, as he pricked his ears forward out his stall window or lifted his head from grazing in the pasture. His big brown eyes would focus in on me, and I could feel him absorbing all of my problems in an instant, freeing me from my burdens, if only for a short time. For that, I’ll always be grateful.

Photo by Amanda Moore