7 Reasons Why Equestrians Would Survive The Apocalypse

The world is a really weird place right now. It’s got me thinking a lot about the End Of Times (sorry to be a Debbie Downer) and maybe I’ve been watching too many zombie movies.

But anyway – there is a point here. In my boredom musings I realized: equestrians would be really good at surviving the apocalypse. Okay, so maybe not all of us, but plenty of us horse crazies would adapt quickly, I think, in an end of the world scenario. A lot of the “life skills” we learn at the barn are actually applicable. For example:

We can MacGyver just about anything.

Bailing twine is like duct tape – it can fix pretty much anything. I’ve used a hoof pick to cut open a bale of hay, and I’ve used it to open a beer. My horse trailer is held together strategically with zip ties. That means I can pretty much fix anything, right?

We’re kind of bossy.

We’re either bossy ourselves, or we’ve survived riding with the bossiest of trainers. Either way, that means we’re good at giving direction or we’re good at taking direction, and both skills seem pretty desirable in a post apocalyptic world.

We can survive a long time without a shower.

Have you ever been to a three-day horse show? The layer of dust, sweat, sunburn and grit that comes from a full day of barn and riding time is otherworldly. Equestrians won’t bug out because of the end-of-the-world grime.

Blood and guts is a normal thing when you’re a horse owner.

Horses are constantly trying to kill themselves in the most creative ways. We’ve all texted each other some pretty gruesome photos of festering wounds or gross impaled body parts. We diligently treat and care for our horses through these times…. so Come. At. Me. with the grossest guts you got.

We know how to pick out supplies that will last.

From footwear to pants, we won’t be caught dead in the apocalypse with some fufu dress and sandals. We know which pair of boots are meant to last, even in the most gnarly conditions. Same goes for jeans, breeches, leggings, BRAS! We come to the End Of The World totally prepared.

The no-brainer here: We actually know how to ride and care for horses.

So cars and public transit, naturally, become a thing of the past in an apocalypse. It’s always funny to me how in movies and TV shows, these city slickers-turned post apocalyptic survivors can naturally just wrangle a few horses and tack and keep them alive. Those horses would be dead from founder/colic/starvation – you name it – with non-horse people. Keep a real equestrian, or two, around, and we’ll keep the horses alive and healthy enough to actually use for transportation.

We’re already a gang.

Any barn fam already knows – horse girls are a tight-knit group. We already operate within our own herd-like mentality. Moving from place to place and having each other’s backs comes pretty naturally to us.