We all know ’em. There’s one or a group of them in every barn it seems. And if they’re not in the barn, they’re the rail birds at the horse show. Or they’re online, creepin’ in the comments with hurtful words and no context on the real world situation that they’re commenting on, anyway.
Why are there so many mean girls in equestrian sport? Even today, in 2026? They come in all forms too: teenagers to full-grown adults who ride in all the disciplines or maybe don’t even ride at all anymore.
No one has time for bullying behavior. Or even worse, mean girls who are making comments without the knowledge or experience or education to back it up. Every time you want to make a mean comment behind the back of someone at the barn or even a stranger online, go read a published article or book instead. Or pay to take another lesson. Knowledge is power, and with knowledge comes understanding and empathy. Or at least that’s our world view here at Heels Down.
With horses, there’s always an opportunity to learn more, to expand your view, and see the world through a different lens thanks to our varied experience with horses.
So if you’re unsure if you are in fact the mean girl in your barn, see if you fit in any of the descriptions below:
You see someone riding and immediately have to text others to nitpick about it.
A fellow barn mate texts you with a question and you make the conscious decision to never respond.
When someone sees you struggling with something in the barn and offers advice or assistance, you ignore them and instead chastise them among others about how they approached you.
You exclude others from your barn group in texts or on social media.
You can’t be bothered to be nice to others in communal spaces, like the tack room or the wash rack.
You borrow equipment or tack but return it sweaty or dirty, or at least not in the condition it was presented to you.
You never take the time to clean up a communal space after you and your horse are done with it.
You can’t be bothered to adjust your ride or expectations when someone else on a green or unsettled horse is asking for grace in the shared arena, even if only for a moment.
You always have something sour to say about someone else’s choice in breeches or boots or color coordination.
Let’s all try to actively not be the mean girl going forward. Find an accountability buddy if you need one. Deal? Deal.