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Famous Last Words, Equestrian Edition

You know what I mean. Or perhaps your significant other does – the kinds of words and phrases that technically mean one thing, but people “in the know” understand it has a different definition entirely if you read through the lines.

There are certainly some phrases or words we use as equestrians that can be easily misconstrued. See if any of these ring familiar.

“Going to the barn. Be home in an hour.”

Any horse husband who hears or reads a message like this knows better than to believe it. Tack on three hours at least, and you might be closer to the truth.

“One horse is enough.”

Said no horse owner ever. There is this thing among backyard chicken owners called “chicken math,” where one owns “three chickens” but a picture of said “three chickens” actually looks like 26 to the average onlooker. It’s not all that different with horses…

“Stopping by the tack shop for just one thing.”

You go with the best intentions to buy just one bottle of fly spray or to replenish your anti-fungal cream, but you walk out with a receipt for $250 worth of tack and supplies you really didn’t need.

“Sorry, I can’t make it this weekend.”

It could be a wedding, baby shower, birthday party, happy hour function, you name it. If there’s a horse show, hunt, clinic, hunter pace, cross-country school…. our weekend is already booked up.

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“It’s just a scratch. I can get back on.”

Horse people are tough. We get bucked off, and our first instinct is usually to get right back on. Safety should come first (i.e, *don’t get back on if you hit your head, or are actually in pain), but if you’re truly OK and that naughty pony needs a good, stern talking to… by all means.

“It was on sale.”

Sure it was. That 20% off coupon code from SmartPak coupled with free shipping can go a long way in convincing even the best of us that now is the time to splurge on that shiny new piece of tack.

“My legs are dead.”

Cue oncoming soreness, from a tough lesson, a week in of No Stirrup November, or a long cross-country gallop. You’re certainly in pain, but it’s the best kind of sore.

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