Finding a partner who understands the commitment and toll of being a horseback rider is well, a little tricky.
It isn’t always easy to explain that you’re just going to ghost for three whole days to spend a weekend away at a horse show. Or that you need to spend four hours at the farm on a random weekday night, mucking stalls, to pay off your board bill. Once you find that lucky someone who understands your passion, hold on to them tight!
If you still haven’t found that special somebody, don’t fret. Heels Down Mag polled our readers for some helpful tips on how to avoid potential significant others who end up being just a waste of time. Learn from our collective mistakes! If any boyfriend/girlfriend/hook up has anything like this to say…. do yourself a favor and move on now.
But the horse does all the work.
Cue eye roll here. Even if your partner doesn’t understand the sport, they should at least respect your passion and what you do. Nobody needs comments like this in their life, just sayin’.
You spend more time with your horse than with me.
Get used to it, buddy. In reality, this is a life-long juggling act equestrians will always have to try to manage. Some days will be better than others. Horses require a lot of care, and in turn they require a lot of time. Sometimes your partner might be right – you’re spending too much time at the barn and not in other important areas of your life. But other times, they’re just whiny. Tread carefully here.
I can’t believe you would touch that.
“That” could be a whole lot of things: Horse manure, sheaths, bloody wounds, mold and fungus, “foreign objects” sticking out of appendages where they shouldn’t… It can be mighty gross, being a horse owner. But as long as you’re not expecting your significant other to pitch in on these less-than-glamorous tasks, why do they care?
Are you really watching horse videos right now?
YES. YES I AM. SO DEAL WITH IT. This is a petty observation. You’re allowed to spend your free time however you want. That doesn’t mean you should ignore your significant other completely, of course. But there’s nothing wrong with watching some for sale videos on YouTube while they read before bed…
I bet you can’t back up and hitch that trailer.
Hold my beer.
Think about all the money we’d have if you didn’t have the horse.
This is a tough one. It’s no secret that horses are frickin’ expensive. How you manage your expenses with your significant other is really a personal thing. But being responsible and striking the right balance is key here. Sure, you could probably go on a hell of a lot more vacations if you weren’t paying board (aka “a second mortgage” as one ex-boyfriend called it)… But your mental health and happiness is important, right? Then that should be important to your significant other, too.
You should give me lessons.
This is a controversial one. I know many equestrian couples who share their passion for horses together. That’s cute and it’s great. Personally, I learned a long time ago that I’m happiest in relationships where we spend time together and have shared interests, sure, but that we also have our own independent hobbies and passions. It’s important to also be your own person. But I digress. So any ex-partner who insisted on getting involved in horses used to drive me crazy. I love it when you want to come to the horse show and cheer me on, and maybe go for the occasional trail ride… but find your own thing, dude!