Things are getting pretty serious. This relationship might even be Facebook official now. That means it’s time to bring your significant other out to the barn to meet your horse, your trainer and your barn family. Some people worry about the first time their boyfriend or girlfriend meets their parents, and while that can be quite intimidating, it pales in comparison to the first time you bring your partner to the barn to meet your trainer and barn family.
This first trip to the barn can tell you a lot. How they react to your barn family teasing them? Does your trainer approve? Are they scared of horses? Do your horses approve? Do they complain about the smell or that one hour turned into three?
That first excursion to the barn can also make or break the beginning of a relationship.
The first time I brought a boy to the barn I was 15. Because I was young and unable to drive, my parents had already met him numerous times. I wasn’t overly close to my trainer at that barn, but I wanted my boyfriend to meet my horse. He also volunteered to video my lesson. Things went smoothly and the visit ensued without any major drama.
Later I plugged the camera into the television to watch myself ride. As the video started, everything seemed normal, just a standard video of myself during one of my lessons. Then the camera zoomed in on my butt. It stayed there and followed my butt around from jump to jump for the rest of my lesson. While, I’m not entirely sure that he understood the point of videoing my lesson, it definitely made for an awkward viewing experience with my parents.
Needless to say, my first boyfriend barn experience wasn’t the best. As I got older and my relationships (and myself) matured more, these first trips to the barn have improved marginally. Bringing a significant other to the barn has become something of the utmost importance to me. This place is my home, these people are my family and my trainer is my world. It is not a trip that is to be taken lightly. What my trainer feels about my significant other means almost as much, if not more to me, than what my parents think.
Does my significant other fear horses and cower in the corner trying to act casual? Do they kick my horse in the face when they try to nibble their shoe? Yes,that actually happened. Do they continue to act like a normal person among a sea of equestrians or do they make the situation awkward and weird?
In a perfect world, the first trip to the barn is seamless. He banters back and forth with my trainer and is quickly accepted by the barn family. He may ask to give my horse a treat, but is never too annoying or in the way. He doesn’t act bored when it’s time to ride the second or third horse of the day. It helps when he’s self-sufficient and able to socialize on his own. Bonus points if he brings a book and doesn’t notice that five hours just somehow managed to pass by. Triple bonus points if he brings a camera to photograph or video every ride.
Dating is hard, but your first trip to the barn with your partner doesn’t have to be. Take a deep breath and know that your barn family is going to break them in. If they can’t handle it, well, that’s what (barn) families are for, right?